Sry I called you an 8
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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