I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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