ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Your tits are I can't wait for
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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