I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
