so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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