Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
