She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Randomize
