Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
