clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
