I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Fuck appropriateness.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
