Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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