i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
