Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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