Buhtt sex?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
