Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
