i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
