If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
i've created a new STD.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
