he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
