absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He passed out mid-signature
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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