walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
