Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
