Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
