Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
