brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
