I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
