found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
