Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
her vagine was all disorganized.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I puked a lego.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
