Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
My feet surprised me
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
