so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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