i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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