my room smells like sperm. sweet.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You're like the curious george of whores
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize