I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
