So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
