Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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