i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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