shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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