....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
