He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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