wanna go halves on a baby?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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