There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
