we have pet lesbian snakes
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
home. puking in laundry basket.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
