the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
he thought i was a dude.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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