wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
