dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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