I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
