can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
