if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Randomize
