i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
