I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
