i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
