It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
