if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He uses pillows to masturbate.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
people are starting to question the shark bite story
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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