Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
