Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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