I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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