Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
