Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
