he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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