We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
