fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
